I think the 'bad fanfic' feel comes from the idea that Erik has *another* apprentice whom he falls for *again* and *still* doesn't allow to see his face... I like the idea that the Other Woman actually learns about Erik's past from Christine (who, in this scenario, is presumably relatively well-disposed towards him, since the last time she saw him he repented and let her go) But I don't think you've got enough material -- or conflict -- for more than one act here; it would be a short epilogue to "Phantom", reaffirming the finale, rather than an entire show.
And one of the things that I thought was very effective in the original (and which I imagine was among Lloyd Webber's major visions for LND, since he was prepared to consciously mangle the timeline in order to make it possible) was the vision of the Phantom reigning in Coney Island as King of the Freaks -- the one place where oddity becomes a potential asset rather than a liability. Yes, it puts him in a pretty invidious situation vis-a-vis Christine, because he is still wallowing in self-pity despite the fact that having 'gone legitimate' he now has it all: money, obedience, power, respect, crowds eager to flock to his door, an acknowledged outlet for his creativity. But that reversal, in which the Phantom now *is* the management and the Chagnys are the outsiders without recourse, is at least an ingenious place to take the story. Having him as a successful impresario who can make or break a girl's career according to whether he notices her or not is a more original development then having him lurking in the shadows to try to push forward another 'face' for his voice. And as you know, I found that effectively reversing the positions of Raoul and the Phantom is a ploy that can hold considerable dramatic potential -- it's not inherently a bad idea, it just needs more context and justification than 'we want to pair Christine off with the Phantom, so we'll give Raoul an arbitrary character change so she can ditch him".
(It would probably have been a better idea *not* to use Meg, as I believe was the initial intention, before someone advised that the show needed to be tied back more closely to the original in order to bring in the fans, and to have her role taken by a fresh character with a backstory of her own. Although the idea of having Meg torn between her former friendship with Christine and her new professional rivalry -- this is her One Big Chance, and Christine is taking it from her without even being consciously aware that she is stealing the limelight yet again -- is a dimension that would be harder to replicate between two other characters.)
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branchandroot
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Date: 2021-05-13 11:28 pm (UTC)I like the idea that the Other Woman actually learns about Erik's past from Christine (who, in this scenario, is presumably relatively well-disposed towards him, since the last time she saw him he repented and let her go) But I don't think you've got enough material -- or conflict -- for more than one act here; it would be a short epilogue to "Phantom", reaffirming the finale, rather than an entire show.
And one of the things that I thought was very effective in the original (and which I imagine was among Lloyd Webber's major visions for LND, since he was prepared to consciously mangle the timeline in order to make it possible) was the vision of the Phantom reigning in Coney Island as King of the Freaks -- the one place where oddity becomes a potential asset rather than a liability. Yes, it puts him in a pretty invidious situation vis-a-vis Christine, because he is still wallowing in self-pity despite the fact that having 'gone legitimate' he now has it all: money, obedience, power, respect, crowds eager to flock to his door, an acknowledged outlet for his creativity. But that reversal, in which the Phantom now *is* the management and the Chagnys are the outsiders without recourse, is at least an ingenious place to take the story. Having him as a successful impresario who can make or break a girl's career according to whether he notices her or not is a more original development then having him lurking in the shadows to try to push forward another 'face' for his voice.
And as you know, I found that effectively reversing the positions of Raoul and the Phantom is a ploy that can hold considerable dramatic potential -- it's not inherently a bad idea, it just needs more context and justification than 'we want to pair Christine off with the Phantom, so we'll give Raoul an arbitrary character change so she can ditch him".
(It would probably have been a better idea *not* to use Meg, as I believe was the initial intention, before someone advised that the show needed to be tied back more closely to the original in order to bring in the fans, and to have her role taken by a fresh character with a backstory of her own. Although the idea of having Meg torn between her former friendship with Christine and her new professional rivalry -- this is her One Big Chance, and Christine is taking it from her without even being consciously aware that she is stealing the limelight yet again -- is a dimension that would be harder to replicate between two other characters.)